» Brother From Another Mother, Edur of Theaham

[Senz of Pirate's Swoop]

April 5, 201
Addressed to:
Edur of Theaham
Sender:
Senz of Pirate's Swoop

Edur,

How are things on the war front? Landon and I made it back to Corus safely, and, if you couldn't tell, Marjorie's looked at my arm and I can use it again. It's still a little sore - I imagine that it'll be like this permanently, and I also have a scar (now you're not the only one with permanent scars, so you can't use that as an example of your 'manliness' - not that you have any, of course; disillusionment isn't healthy, you know - you should really see someone about that). We arrived yesterday. I ran into Lee, as well - we're going riding in just over a week, and she mentioned something about going drinking. Maybe Bellona will give you more details. I'll keep this short, though, as sleep beckons.

I'll assume you've died of boredom or a lack of alcohol or whathaveyou if you don't respond. Though, if you've actually dropped dead, I'll have to come down there and kill you again myself.

~Senz

[Edur of Theaham]

April 14th, 201 HE

Hey Senz,

Yeah, I’m fine over here. It’s been insane though. Well, not in the sort of insane the gray-hairs talk about when we’re prowling around camp together, but. So basically, Sam (Samden of Kennan, the King’s Champion, if you recall), had me lead a raid the other day. It wasn’t a small one either. Well, it was small, but it was a pretty signifciant one. We succeeded too. Sorry you missed it.

Then again, somehow I get the feeling that you don’t really mind. I’m glad to hear that you and the kid are doing alright. Tell Landon I said hi, he’s not that bad despite being a healer’s lackey. Glad to hear your shoulder’s doing better. Don’t worry about it sticking around. I’m sure it will heal up in no time, without a single scar to show for it. It’s Mithros’ own rule that I should be the only one with ruggedly handsome battle scars.

Good to hear that you and your fair damsel are getting together. You're nuts, but have fun and remember your poor buddy out on the front that can only talk to girls who have sharp, pointy things at there disposal and the will to use them. Notice that I didn’t say anything about drinking. I actually... huh... that story’s going to wait until I’m sure that no one will be censoring this and getting after me about it.

Anyway, get rest. I promise I won’t die (I can find amusements and a drop or two, apparently, and I’m too awesome for the Barzunnis to kill). Anyway, I did respond to you. So there.

Have fun!
Edur

PS Please don’t mention Bellona. I’m trying to forget she exists. There’s no danger of it actually going through anyway. Our parents aren’t that senile yet.

((I think Edur just got back from patrol or something... he's kinda tired himself))

This post has been edited by Edur of Theaham on Nov 12 2009, 09:29 PM

[Senz of Pirate's Swoop]

April 20th, 201

The message runner was a wee bit faster than normal. Senz received Edur's letter that morning, and ended up writing a response that night. While completely wasted. He has very few memories of that night, and none whatsoever of giving the letter to a courier and paying him handsomely to deliver it quickly. This all before he found himself passed out in the hallway, outside some random aristocrat's bedroom.

BELLONA

See I told you I'da say her name. But not really. You didn't know about my tricksiness.

Eduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuur, This happens often in the letter, where Senz repeats certain letters in his handwriting, typically vowels.

That has a nice ring rang rung ring to it! Duuuuuuur. Heeheeheeheeheeheehee. Sos... Like... ya. I'm here. In this place. No! I lie. Not in this place. In anuver pleice. You know the one... you get stuff. like drinks... and... more drinks... and lotsaladies. edur! i've met so many reallysexyhotgorgeous ladies lately! there's this noblegirl's name elise and she's so quiet but i think she's got a really nice ass i mean chest i mean face! so does lee. but don't let her daddy catch you saying that cause he might beat me with a spoon. or a fork. or a fork and a spoon combined into a super spoon-fork! oh noes. and lee laid on me aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllmost aaaaaaaaaaaaaall night and i really liked it cuase i think that she's got a realy nice uh... uh... figure! she's gotta nice figr and i know i shouldnt talk like that about a princess but damn is she fine. like. so fine i could steal her away. but then again her daddy might beat me with a spoonfork so i dunno. think i could pull it off? i'm feeling tired

i like lees hair its really dark and sexy and i think i would be touching it and Either Senz manages to catch himself here, or he's become distracted. Either way, it's probably a good thing. all night but bellona got in the way and she kissed me and that was weird made a MUWAH sound that was strange is it bad that i wanted that from lee more than bellona cause im not goin to be marid to bellona i think lee was going to kill her for that even though she was so drunk it was funny kinda like when she wrote me last time except i dont have to be S------ this time cause shes here with meandsheinvitedmeandthatwasreallyniceofher and i think poor landon wants to go off himself cause his knightmstr is all Here there is a string of random nonsense letters that Edur probably can't make out to save his life.

but let me tell you about that night we first started drinking and then well you wouldnt really bleive it becus The ink here is completely smeared due to what appears to be vomit, likely Senz's. It's clear that he tried to wipe it off and failed in part, because there are still... bits... stuck to the ragged parchment. Near where he talks about his lovely women there's also little specks of drool.

bellona petted my head i think that lee should do that more

i went riding with lee it was nice

i really like lee becus shes nice and she seems to like me but i dunno i think you should ask her but dont really caus that coudl end bad

i thinkimmagonow cause i cnat think much well and you know how its is when yor not fealing so well... i think i just threw up in front of some guys room... haha... hes going to walk in it tomorr Here there is another string of random letters, mostly u's. There is no signature, though it's obviously from Senz. This is probably good, because if someone figured out that it was his... Well... The world would probably implode. Or he'd be executed. One of the two.


Another letter is sent the next day, in the midst of a massive hangover. And this one, like the last, was hurriedly shoved at a courier, this one paid even more handsomely than the last. Alas, he wasn't offered promises of steak.

April 21, 201

Edur,

I am so incredibly sorry that you had to... read... that letter. I pray to the gods that it didn't arrive, or that if you did get stuck reading it, that you haven't forgotten that you're the same way and that it's hardly my fault that Lee managed to make me... completely intoxicated. I'm sorry if this seems a little discordant, but I'm writing this through a massive headache while trying to avoid the guy whose room I happened to... pass out in front of... and... vomit in front of... which he stepped in before realizing. Everything Almost everything should be discredited. Pretend this never happened and I'll buy you a steak.

~Senz

[Edur of Theaham]

May 5, 201

Dear Senz,

Hey there! Heh, isn't this rotation schedual crazy? Last month you were all cozy, having a grand time with Liadean and all the others, and writing insain letters, I might add. Now here I am, living it up in Cours, while youre out in the desert. Hope you're doing alright. Don't let those Barzunis poke any more holes in you.

Anyway, so I broke up with Bellona tonight. Isn't that right? Well, I guess I dindn't really break up with her, seeing as we weren't engaged anymore. But you know what I mean. Finally got away from that. It's official now. I don't know if I'd told you but we decided to go out and get soem drinks to celibate. Bellona's not that bad, really. She's actually kinda fun... ish. Are you kidding? I am SUPER FUN AND HE KNOWS IT. Edur just wishes he could keep up with me and my awesome.Psh. Yeah right. You're just jealous 'cause I can party just fine and you don't have awesome battle scars so there. You wouldn't be ahead of me if you hadn't gotten here sooner. But yeah, she's actually not a harpy at all Senz, well, at a party. She's a blast. Harpy?! What is that? I am not a harpy. I am not a harpy, I am an awesome very nice lady and I have never done anything like that to deserve such a title. You wouldn't say that if you'd seen your face on Midwinter. You were kinda scary. But its ok. I thik it may have had something to do with the party or maybe the dress you complained about in the letter. Although the letters were a littel frightening too. HOW COULD YOU NOT REMEMBER ME?!

Edur celebrates pretty good for a man who just doesn't seem to get out much, though i suppose being stuck in a desert for that long means that that he really couldn't get out and drink..... Thank you. It's about time you acknolaged that.

Did you know that Dogs or whatever actually get half off at the Sleepy Minstril? How is that fair? I mean, Dogs are great and all that, but we're fighting stinking wars and we don't get discounts. That's just rotten. Rotten rotten al the way through. But hey, Bellona's being awesome and buying drinks. By the way, Bellona, I'll pay you back for some of them when the 'keeper isn't looking. It would be awlful low of me to take advantage of a lady financially, and at something I invited her too on top of that. Yeah Really, Luke wouldn't be able to get rid of us anyway, he's kind of a pansy. Ha! We can take him.

I'm sorry, we Dogs, keep CORUS SAFE from the dirt of society and keeps the pubs clean and safe for them it's VERY simple. Yeah, but we keep you and society and the pubs safe from evil Barzunnis and Yamanis. Take that. Pfft. Not that important to a innkeeper who has his patrons stolen from by rogues. Rogues could never stand up to a heavy cavalry division and a company of archers. Rogues are a pretty interesting bunch, mithros i am not arguing with you over this. Pooint is, Lukie is boss and he likes me and the Dogs more than you.. Probably because that Minchi always comes in and does damage to like everything.Osric. He's amazing. He can turn a pub inside out with the best of them, so I guess I don't blame that Luke guy too muc.h

So Senz is like back in Barzun or the desert or whatevery away from his pretty Lee and us being awesome? Yeah. Either that or he diserted. But Senz is awesomely sexy (ok, that is SOOO not going in a letter that I write him. ok? Not ok.) (Pfft I can write what I want. What are you going to do? try to steal my pen?) (Yeah. I will. You know I will. I mean, I'll get all kinds of weird looks from the guys) (I can take you. I saw that look, you were scared by the little fireball. pfffttttttt) (It was just the effects of the war. It makes you a little jumpy when you have to worry about someone breaking your ribs and slicing you up all the time. I've got plenty of experiance. You wouldn't have a prayer) (Oh I think I would L i e u t e n a n t I would have you in a magical net so fast you'd think i was a farm girl and you were piglet)(Bah! I can take a whole Barzunni unit with just me and a few friends, I know I can whoop one pretty little mage girl) (I knows ways)(whatever). He doesn't dessert. Oh but he is edible. Ew, you know that's like, my best friend you're talking about there. You're edible too. Ok, that's better. I can deal with that. Hahahaha and you are ok by that being in the letter? I mean Senz will be like WHOA what are those two doing? Is Bellona really nibbling on Edur's ear? Oh, good point. Yeah, Senz. Don't forget. We're not engaged anymore. SO TRAGIC BUT NOT REALLY. Yeah, so no attraction here whatsoever.Nah probably not.

Maybe.

Nah..

No. I mean, don't get me wrong, you're not bad, but yeah. I'm staying with the Own. Still, how in Mithros' name did you pull it off. I mean you were like... evil and stuff at Midwinter and now you're all woah. But yeah. You couldn't pay me to marry her. Technically there was a dowry so you were being paid to marry me. Wow... that's super sad.... my daddy is paying someone to marry me.Psh, don't take it too hard sweetheart. My parents were raffling me away in an effort to keep me alive. Like I can't take care of myself or something.

You can't though, Edur. I saw that scar. Hey, that' hurts. Come on! I told you! I was dragging a wounded man... or... I was going to save a town fool of civilians and a Yamani monster with this learing grin and glazed eye jumped up and shot at a little boy, not this tall, and I took the arrow for him. See, I can take care of myself. You don't even remember what you did to get it. I do too! Maybe you're lying and it's really just you tripped on the way to a privy.Psh, you wish. Ask any knight or Owner... they'll all tell you that I got it fighting valliantly against those Yamani dogs.

What were we talking about again? Uh.... how Senz was in the desert again fighting the war and being good. Senz is not that good at being good, i have seen him looking at Lee and he wants to do very bad things to that girl. I approve. And I think we need more beer. Don't you mean "with"? Oh I am sure it'll be both. Ooh, yes! more beer! Where are those fur pine shots thigs? I dunno I will bother that darling gixie who has put up with us all night. I think she thinks we are insane. Aw, but she's being real sweet.

So anyway, Senz... there was something I was gunna tell you. Darn it. Bellona? Do you remember? No, how am i supposed to? Meh, I don't know. You're giving me these "I can read you mind looks" or something like that. Oh I can read your mind when you're that obvious about it but I don't think it has anything to do with Senzie pooh.Anyway!

Tell him about how nice it is in Corus. It's nice here in Corus. Very good. And there's that wedding thing coming up soon and I bet you get to be all fancy in it since you're the King's Own thingie.. Oh yeah, Osric kidnapped whatsherface from wheresit and is getting married to her. Old scoundrel. So yeah, I'm going to get ot look all spiffy in my beyond awesome Owner uniform. Bellona, you aught to see me in FULL uniform I mean... yeah. Anyway, don't know what all this will mean for me though... hope I don't get some crabby replacement that won't let you 'n me run all over and prank folks. Hey, Bellona, if you ever get to war like you want to. Do you mind mise in your shoes? Their a lot fo fun.

I meant the Prince's wedding but you were far too adorrable writing that all down I couldn't stop you. I'm adorable! No. Mice in my shoes? That is just childish. Who's Prince? Oh! THAT wedding. Who cares? Anyway, come on. Me 'n Senz will have to show you a good time when you finally make it to the front, and it gets real boring. Mice wil be a nice change. Dontcha think? Um. I dunno. I have mice in my apartment right now and it's kinda annoying and I don't have a cat. I should get a cat. What colour of a cat should I get Senz? Hmm.. You should get Senz a black cat. 'Cause black cats are cool. Oh. Erh. I guess Senz's supposed to answer that one. Nevermind. Why would Senz want a black cat I thought it was for you. Just ignore it. It is for me. I need a cat so that my mice are taken care of but maybe I will just put them in your boots.No, I coined the boots. Didn't I Senz? I cointed the boots. You'll have to find some cool trick of your own to play when you're in the desert with us. Ooh, or we could all team up and do some amazing stuff. On the Tortallans or the Barzunnis because it seems your talents could be used for good and not evil.Ooh, that would be fun! But then... we'd probably get in trouble for sneaking out of the camp. What am I saying? LETS TO IT! I can't right now I am still a provost mage i gottas to be a crown mage and have Lee's daddy say I can go to war. Or I sneak down and cause mayhem on my own. If I slept in your tent no one would even notice.I don't snore.

I do not snore. I sleep like a nice little pretty doll. Unless like... someone scares me... I miight throw a fireball. But Like only because I was startled and like my sleep. Why did you think I SNORED? I didn't say you did. You don't seem like the type to snore. I was just saying that I don't snore... it seemed important. Oh. I thought you meant "no you can't do that because you probably snore and people will think I am not me because you are snoring....

Oh... I get it. You're telling me because... hehe.

WOW.
WOW.
Woah, my Mithros! Senzy boy are YOU missing you! I mean... missing out. Bellona! Heh.

Um I don't give that sort of thing away free. I am pretty sure Senz is only missing out on being incredibly jealous of you.

HA! Yeah, she's jealous. I mean, he's jealous. Aren't cha? I don't think it's good to be in a fair ladies debt though, is it? Not chivalrous and all right? I hope Senz will answer that because I think I napped through that class at the convent. Meh, better error on the side of side of cation then, right? I don't know. I don't remember what we were talking about. how are you in my debt again? Girls. Short-term memroy loss aparentsly. I remember though. It was like. Five seconds ago.

OH I KNOW. Tell Senz about the letter we are writing to his darling Lee. We will make sure to send your love along to her even if you are too chicken to say it yourself, me and edur are verrrrry brave. Don't encourage him. He's been swonning over that girl since forever. Lee's a jerk. She won't give me booze and dice.Lee is NOT a jerk. She is super awesome and dances when she is drunk and falls off of stools and stuff. I love Lee. She's the best. You might try some of that stuff. I am a better drunk because I can like ... stand. and walk. I haven't seen you stand in a while. Well, barring the flying leap over the table.I did not leap over the table i only bumped it and I maintain it was in my way, and I know you think that I am keeping you from standing and tumbling your drunk ass over.I have catlike grace. Name a dance and I'll do it. Right now. Just get off of me first. Ok? Hard to dance with someone sitting on you. I don't want you to dance and I am comfortable and I think you like it with my arm about your neck and writing in your letters.True. Bellona, you're awful pretty. I AM returning the favor.

I am sure Senz doesn't want to read about that. We will save his virgin eyes... ears? whatever. things.Thought you said he wasn't a good boy? And what the heck are you implying? I don't love you?I said Senz wasn't a good boy in side and awanted to do stuff to Lee but has he ever managed to? Probabaly not. That's kinda... well... Oh Edur, I do not think you love me but i think you are very much enjoying yourself.So?Nothing. There isn't a So? I am enjoying myself too. But i can imply you don't love me because you don't but that as i said it perfectly fine because i am not a silly maiden who is gonna be like "don't you looove me" and get all whiny and stuff.Good. You don't love me either right? 'Cause I'm a tough soldier boy and don't mind if you don't because that's fair and I like being fair. Fair is good. You're fair too. well, not really, you have dark hair, but that's ok 'cause your complexion is nice and I like dark hair.

Nah I am fine with this arrranagement, i think it's working out ok I mean like phwaor you are, I mean I really like your hair, it's soo... curly. And like wow.... I wanna touch it, but like.... sorry Senz, his is better.Yeah, I think I can live with this too. You know. We aught to get drinks again sometome. Sezn, you can come to that one. It'll be lots of fun. Brink Lee. Or not Lee. Who was that other girl were you talking about? Uh. Ezekil. Elimes. Elmo? Something like that. Bring her. I don't want to get in trouble with the king. I like my head where it is. Wait what. Antother girl. Damn Senz you's gonna be in trrrrouble. And what kind of girl is like named Elmo. I don't get it. Say it to me.Say what? I bet this Elmo girl is great. Not as great as other people I know. But maybe she's fun. Then Senz and her can hand gout and we can hang out.. in a completely ImnotgunnamarryyouorfallinlovewithyoubecausejustnoIlikewar way.

Really? Elise? I think that's what he said. Senz that is gross. Don't write her drunk letters.When did he say that? He's in the Mithros Cursed dessert. YOU said it. I just made you say her name because you can't even spell it. Elise is gross. Ugh. Senz has good taste when he's not looking at preincesseasyeah but Elise like did a thing in the Galla urgh. no. Zarian sent her a letter and it was stupid and... wait. no... ... I don't remember.. Once again, how drunk WERE you? GALLA WAS AMAZING. I wasn't there.I am sorry. It was "amazing" as amazing as a night could be without you. happy?Yeah.

Well, looks like we gotta run. Pub's closing and we've already finished Lee's letter.

Stay safe and keep cool!

Edur & Bellona

((Sorry about the world's longest (and most insane) letter ever. x.x Senz is more than welcome to read the first five lines and burn it ))

This post has been edited by Edur of Theaham on Nov 16 2009, 04:13 AM